Your Hormones as Gossip Girl Characters

Who watched (I mean binged) Gossip Girl in the late 2000s? I know I did. It was like watching a train wreck. I couldn’t pull myself away!

When I was learning all about how our hormones affect us in perimenopause and beyond, the description of estrogen really reminded me of Serena Van der Woodsen, the quintessential “It Girl.” Stay with me. Let me explain.

• Everyone wanted to be friends with Serena and heck, most of us wanted to BE Serena. She was the life of the party…beautiful, glamorous, and privileged. Everywhere she went she was the center of attention.

  
  

• While her friends loved her for her charisma and charm, they also sometimes hated her because of how perfect she and her life were. While the hatred was mostly due to pure jealousy (especially Blair), Serena could really be self-centered and would go off the rails at times too if no one was around to reign her in.

So, what does this have to do with estrogen? Estrogen is the predominant hormone for women and provides much of our vitality; nourishing our skin, nails, and hair; giving us our feminine features; keeping our bones strong; and helping us get pregnant. Unfortunately, estrogen starts to fluctuate wildly during perimenopause, going high and then really low, before dropping drastically. When estrogen gets too high, we experience weight gain, mood swings, emotional sensitivity, and in general bad PMS symptoms.

• Progesterone, estrogen’s longtime friend, helps balance estrogen and keeps her in check. You can think of estrogen as the fun party girl that everyone wants to hang out with, much like Serena. Progesterone, on the other hand, is the more responsible friend who keeps estrogen out of trouble.

  
  

• The two are lifelong friends but estrogen still loves to go out and party, while progesterone realizes she just can’t party like she used to, because the day after is just not worth it. Progesterone prefers a quiet night at home with a small group of friends and good conversation or alone with a good book and a cup of tea.

Unfortunately for women in midlife, progesterone drops precipitously before estrogen, sometimes as early as age 35. When progesterone leaves, there is no brake on estrogen and we become estrogen dominant, which presents as irritability, bloating, hot flashes, and low energy.

• When estrogen finally departs the scene at menopause, we suffer from bone and muscle loss; dry skin, hair, and nails and wrinkles; vaginal atrophy; and often a depressed mood.

Having described estrogen to clients as Serena got me thinking. Could I describe our other key hormones and what happens to them during the menopause transition as Gossip Girl characters?

Challenge accepted. Here we go!!

Estrogen—Queen B, most popular, It Girl: Serena van der Woodsen.

• Serena’s bestie Blair Waldorf takes on this role when Serena disappears early on in the series.

Progesterone—Calming, responsible friend who keeps estrogen from causing too much trouble: Dan Humphrey.

• Initially I imagined Blair Waldorf (Serena’s on again, off again best friend) in that role, but she was just a poser, pleading fidelity to Serena to keep her out of the way so Blair could rule.

  
  

• The true progesterone has always been Dan (despite some of his own off-the-rail behavior in the middle of the series). He balances estrogen and keeps her grounded, even if he isn't innocent himself.

Cortisol—stress hormone which is kept in check by estrogen and progesterone: Blair Waldorf and then Jenny Humphrey (later seasons).

• Cortisol is often described as our stress hormone, but not all stress is bad. Cortisol is what gets us out of bed in the morning and fires up our brain for success at home and work. It is only when cortisol is in excess that we suffer.

  
  

• Think of Blair taking over as Queen B before Serena returns in season one. Later Jenny steps into the role when Serena and Blair graduate high school. Jenny becomes the new It Girl. Jenny allows the power to really go to her head, and she starts behaving worse than Serena or Blair ever did, wreaking destruction in her wake.

  
  

• In our bodies, when estrogen and progesterone drop, cortisol is left in charge unopposed, and all hell breaks loose. Women in late perimenopause and menopause end up having way too much cortisol (stress) coursing throughout the bloodstream, and not enough supporting & calming hormones, resulting in anxiety, lack of sleep, depression and more weight gain.  

Unfortunately, this is how many of us go through late perimenopause and menopause. Progesterone has long left the party and estrogen is unpredictable, sometimes coming on too strong and other times not enough. As estrogen finally departs the scene, cortisol is left in charge with nothing to temper it. That is when the wheels come off the cart!

Serotonin—estrogen’s sidekick/wannabe, the happiness hormone: Initially, Jenny and the group of girls around Serena/Blair in early seasons and then Jenny (later seasons).

• Serena couldn’t rule the school if she had no followers; much like how estrogen needs its neurotransmitter friend serotonin to fully bring happiness and confidence to the body and mind.

  
  

• Likewise, our body and mind are not as happy and confident when estrogen and serotonin are low as they often are in late perimenopause.

GABA—progesterone sidekick, bringing peace and calm: Rufus Humphrey.

• When progesterone leaves the scene, so does GABA. We really need more Rufus during Gossip Girls’ later seasons, particularly after the girls leave high school. His sage wisdom could have kept them from making some really stupid decisions.

  
  

• Similarly, we all need more progesterone and GABA to keep us calm and level-headed in middle age. Progesterone and GABA also help with sleep, something that is so elusive during the transition.  

Insulin—frenemy to cortisol: Eric Van der Woodsen (particularly later seasons).

• When cortisol elevates, so does insulin and vice versa. While they seem to be in sync, they aren’t always loyal to each other and lots of conflicts (and hormonal symptoms) prevail.

  
  

• Oxytocin—the love hormone: Dorota, Blair’s housekeeper. 

  
  

• That one is easy! Everyone loved Dorota and she loved everyone. Oxytocin is the number one antidote to too much cortisol (stress). She loves on everyone in the friend group and provides a safe harbor for them when the seas become too rough.

Testosterone—the strength building “male” hormone and counterpart to estrogen: Chuck Bass (duh!).

• This could have been Nate Archibald as well in the early seasons, but I settled on Chuck given his evolution through the series. While initially too full of himself in the early seasons, Chuck finally professes his love for Blair, maturing into his masculinity in the best way and serving as a critical support and partner to Blair by series end.

  
  

• Even as women, we need testosterone, the muscle- and bone-building hormone that gives us our sex drive and ambition. Like the other sex hormones, testosterone drops throughout perimenopause into menopause, leaving us vulnerable to low mood and osteoporosis.

Dopamine—testosterone’s sidekick focused on pleasure & motivation: early Chuck Bass (another duh!) but later Nate Archibald.

• When testosterone is spiking, so is dopamine. When one leaves the scene, the other often does as well.

  
  

• Pretty boy Nate could have continued a life of ease and privilege, but he was ambitious and motivated, so he chose a more demanding career in politics.

Hope you enjoyed this discussion of hormones as Gossip Girl TV characters; I sure did by thinking and writing about them!

• What do you think of my pairings? Maybe you have different ideas of which character best epitomizes our hormones through menopause. I’d love to hear them, so please drop a comment.